RETRO REVIEW: What Would You Do?

Oh yeah.. During the 1990s Nickelodeon as I've mentioned in the past had some seriously awesome game-shows, some of them made sense and some of them? Yeah.. Not so much.. It's amazing though that the span of time in the early 1990s when the years were just barely out of the 1980s that Nickelodeon had such a run with completely epic and totally spectacular game-shows. Nickelodeon's What Would You Do? is one of those shows.

Introduced in 1991, Nickelodeons What Would You Do? ran until 1993 (cold fucking shiver.) and was a pretty amazing show that definitely had 80s flare, I mean.. For fucks sake, look at the goddamn title-card. There are so many colours you're sure you're on a psychotropic trip, the little eye-balls staring back at you just act to confirm that and JESUS FUCKING CHRIST THE O ON THE DO HAS A GODDAMNED FULL-ON FACE! WHAT THE HELL?! IT'S ANGRY! IT'S GONNA KILL US, HOLY FUCK HELL!!!! RUN AWAAAAY!

...Ahem..

Getting a hold of myself...

Yes you saw right, Nickelodeons What Would You Do? was hosted by Marc Summers, the same Marc Summers who hosted Nickelodeons Double Dare, Wild & Crazy Kids and Food Networks Unwrapped. Marc Summers is a pretty well known TV personality today owing most of it to his early start on Nickelodeon and while he might in my opinion not be the greatest host ever he's still pretty good and I always enjoyed him on What Would You Do? because honestly.. Anyone able to handle what the creators of this show threw at him had some talent and moxie.

Basically the show went like this, the audience would watch previously taped segments or stock films featuring children or families or others put in unusual situations, before anything was shown as to what they did the question was posed and that question was 'What would you do in this situation?', the audience was asked to votes and the votes were tallied and once tallied the results were played. They also randomly chose audience members to preform gross, silly or extraordinary stunts sometimes involving some strange task, animals or miscellaneous criteria. As a game-show this show was kind of a little odd, it didn't really have much direction and that was half the fun of it, you never really knew what they'd do next and that was quite fun.

From time to time audience members were also subjected to the 'pie contraptions', devices that were quite messy and meant to be either a punishment or 'reward' that individuals were rather randomly chosen for. The devices were;

• Pie Pod - The most used and most popular "pie device" on the show, this contraption could launch up to four whipped cream pies at one audience member. He or she would be set up in a hydraulic chair and covered with a clear plastic tarp, leaving his or her head exposed. Then the chair, which resembled a barber's chair or an antique-style dentist's chair, would be pumped up until the participant's head was aligned with a target behind him or her. Summers then asked the audience (or the winning player, in case of a game that sends the loser to the Pie Pod) how many pies should be launched -- "4" was the usual answer—and then released them, following a count of three. During the first season, a device called the "Crowning Glory" was suspended over the participant's head. This was a container shaped like a crown that held a small amount of pink slime. Most of the time this was only released if the audience determined that the "victim" flinched during the release of the pies; however it could be used for any random occasion Marc deemed warranted it, such as it being someone's birthday. In the second season, the Crowning Glory was removed, but a fifth pie was added; in addition, participants were no longer covered with a smock, and the large lab goggles were replaced with small swimming goggles. (Incidentally, on very early episodes, the Pie Pod could be loaded with up to six pies - but the two outer ones were never launched, and were subsequently removed.) On even earlier episodes, the audience member would not get a plastic tarp to protect their clothes, and/or no goggles, or only safety glasses that were usually knocked right off with a direct hit. On one occasion, Marc cursed (which was censored out) and had to go to the Pie Pod as a result. One game was played directly at the Pie Pod, where Marc interviewed a member of the studio audience while a 60-second clock counted down. When the audience member thought that they were within 10 seconds of the 60-second target, they were to say, "Stop," and for every 10 seconds they were out, one pie would be launched. If the 60 seconds expired, all four pies would be launched.

• Pie Slide - By far the messiest. An audience member was sent to the top of a playground slide which ended up in a large vat filled with hundreds of gallons of whipped cream. Participants would first remove their socks and shoes and go barefoot up the ladder to the top of the slide. then the victim was usually allowed to choose whether to go head first or feet first, and would then set off down into the vat, following a count of three. One memorable "Pie Slide" incident featured a young woman during the "What Would You Do? Medley" segment who opted to ride the Pie Slide headfirst rather than eat a Twinkie with gravy; when it was all over; the woman, laughing hysterically, her entire body covered with cream, openly wished she had chosen to eat the Twinkie with gravy. The Pie Slide was featured only in the first season; in the second season, it was replaced by the Pie Coaster (see below), which was much less messy.

• Pie Pendulum - A family was selected, with one family member being strapped to a long board with their face hanging over the side. Five questions were asked to this participant, with each incorrect answer resulting in a family member turning a crank which lowered the victim's face toward a large pie. Three incorrect answers resulted in the victim's face landing in the pie; three correct answers resulted in the victim being "saved" and then being able to pick up the pie and smash it into their family member's face.

• Pie in the Sky - Two participants were chosen (usually two family members). Three bowls were stacked directly above each participant's head, with the top one containing pink slime (referred to as "pie filling".) The two participants were then asked a series of five questions about another family member standing between the two contraptions; each time a participant missed one, one of three levers was pulled, allowing the slime to be emptied into the bowl underneath the current one. Three incorrect answers resulted in the third lever being pulled, releasing the "pie filling" onto the contestant's head. If after five questions neither participant had been slimed, the family member about whom the questions were being asked was forced to stand under one of the contraptions and get slimed (though this rarely happened). One variation had a contestant trying to complete a stunt in a 30-second time limit; the stunt would be stopped at 10-second intervals to release the pie filling. On more than one occasion, the device malfunctioned, thus releasing the "pie filling" after only 2 pulls, or not at all after the required 3 pulls(which the contestant immediately jumped out from underneath and was not slimed).

• Pie Roulette - In this Pie game, which is borrowed from Wild and Crazy Kids, another Woody Fraser/Nickelodeon/Reeves Entertainment production, the chosen participants took turns being seated at a table loaded with a pie. The contestant placed his/her head in a chin rest on the table. He/she then rolled a die, and had to turn a crank whatever number of times the die showed. At any time the crank was being turned, the device could spring the pie, which would land in the contestant's face. In addition, a bucket containing the aforementioned pink "pie filling" was positioned above the contestant's head; if the audience voted that the contestant flinched at any time (whether he was pied or not), the bucket would be released onto his/her head. On at least one occasion a contestant was slimed with the bucket even though he had not been pied. (On the Wild and Crazy Kids version, this bucket was filled with actual cherry pie filling, and was "reloaded" after each use.)

• Pie Wash - appearing in the second season only, this device would have the audience member sit in a large leather chair and be strapped in with a seatbelt, while three nozzles above attempted to spray the audience member with whipped cream while he was being spun around rapidly, before it "cleaned him or her up" using a rotating car wash styled brush. The Pie Wash often failed to get whipped cream onto the participant, as the whipped cream had either melted in the contraption (causing it to simply dribble out onto the floor), or the hoses failed to spray it out altogether. On the occasions when it did work, however, the contestant was immersed. As with the Pie Pod, the "Pie Wash" victim was made to wear goggles. In one famous moment, a contestant was sent to the Pie Wash, but as she rotated, nothing came out of the pipes. While everyone was figuring out what was going on, Marc turned and found that the Pie Pod had gone off with no one in it. Just as Marc and crew went to see what was going on, a large burst of cream suddenly burst out, soaking the girl.

• Pie Coaster - replacing the Pie Slide for the second season of the show, this was a mini roller coaster which ended with an audience member crashing into an oversized pie which stood on its side. At first the contestant would crash through some paper What Would You Do? banners before crashing into the giant pie. The participant usually got hit multiple times as he rocked back and forth on the final dip, where the pie was located; however, since participants were required to wear a large helmet with a full-face clear shield when on the Pie Coaster, the messiness relative to the other devices was severely limited.

It was definitely fun to watch the people subjected to the pie-contraptions. Especially when it came to the parents who you could tell wanted nothing to do with this shit and were still unable to escape.

Boom HEADSHOT! ...Seriously awesome though, I can't imagine the satisfaction some of these kids must have gotten from sending their respective parents to these punishing pie-ers (not a word but FUCK YOU, they pie people, they're pie-ers!)

Even Mr. Summers himself suffered a pie in the face once every now and then..

And in the shows second season it really became interesting, the Wall-O-Stuff was implemented, a super fun wall of numbered doors, each hiding a prize or surprise, sometimes merchandise, such as a T-shirt or a gym bag and other times concealed pies that would be flung at the contestants' face or a water cannon filled with whipped cream,or yellow liquid, which would be squirted at the contestant. Additionally you could receive cards which would condemn you to one of the pie contraptions.

This show was good clean.. Uh.. Fuck that, it wasn't clean, good messy wholesome fun and it was just awesome and enjoyable to watch especially for me. I enjoyed the randomness of it all and still to this day I love watching What Would You Do?

Nickelodeons What Would You Do? gets 9.5/10 Big Cat Paws.

Another of those awesome 90s Nickelodeon game-shows I oh so love.

As a sad note that I hate to bring up, Hokum W. Jeebs, one of the most epic and awesome of all What Would You Do? guest stars was regrettably murdered in 2011 ( http://blogs.seattleweekly.com/dailyweekly/2011/02/professor_hokum_w_jeebs_belove.php )

Jeebs. You will be missed.

Dinner:

Dinner for James tonight was Dorayaki, a Japanese version of Pancakes basically which were topped with a home-made Sweet and Sour Strawberry Syrup Sauce and came along with a delicious Cranberry Anpan (Sweet Roll)

Since James seemed to like this and it's one of the few times I've nearly perfectly cooked the damn things I'm rather happy with it and myself. Rock the fuck on.